Caring for Your Introvert | The Probabilist . com

Caring for Your Introvert November 23, 2006

Posted by The Probabilist in : [Links], Communication, Health, Independence, Psychology, Relationships, Speaking , trackback

I ran across this excellent article that does a great job in explaining what kind of people introverts truly are. The insights are equally useful to both introverts and extroverts so give yourself a few minutes to read it through.

Caring for Your Introvert

It’s a funny thing how extroverts can feel intimidated, frustrated, oblivious or neglectful towards us introverts. Well, at least we find it peculiar. But just as the author of this article puts it, there’s nothing to worry about. We don’t worry and there’s no reason others do it for us either. We are exceptionally independent individuals and it’s a perfectly natural part of our lives. Above all, we just want people to make sense. There’s a certain amount of pointless small talk we can take, even if we just sit and listen and don’t utter a word in a couple of hours, which is probably what we’ll do. Why talk when you’re totally indifferent to the current topic?

This often leads to other people thinking that we have no private life at all. There’s a reason we don’t express ourselves. We just prefer to ask questions, questions we know will add value to our internal minds, but we’re also very inclined to answer other people’s questions. There’s a great saying that applies exceptionally well to introverts. “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” And this holds true to us both as students and teachers. Since there’s seldom a push and a pull effect going on, extroverts simply don’t understand what we have to offer. I simply don’t feel an urge to brag or prove myself to anyone else, because I know it’s likely to be misunderstood. For instance, I could post on this blog my level of wealth, health, IQ, accomplishments and future plans - and I probably will. But it’s not out of bragging or expressing self-complacency. It’s to give you an idea of where I come from and who I am to give you advice on a topic as vast as self development.

A perfect example of why introverts want to keep their mouths shut was when I told a work colleague that I’m never ill. Even my year in the defence forces, with 17 camps in Nordic climate didn’t produce a single sick day to me, I said. Well sure enough the next cold morning when I walked over to my job with a sniveling nose she sarcastically asked that “I’m not sick now am I?” I let her know that I always get watery eyes whenever I walk, jog and ride a bike in frigid and close to frigid temperatures. Instead she could’ve understood my comment as “You can trust on me to back your shift when you’re calling in sick.” Most people, it seems, have trouble focusing on the productive aspects of something that is said. This is just one example, but it keeps baffling me to no end. I’ll write an article about that too.