Who Likes You - in the Long Run? February 4, 2007
Posted by The Probabilist in : [Articles], Consciousness, Communication, Gratitude, Personal Growth, Psychology, Relationships, Beliefs , 9 comments
When I first read through How to Win Friends and Influence People I felt awesome and wanted the whole world to start liking me, one person after another. Some of the principles were obvious to me, like the rule never to badmouth and criticize anyone, but I’ve always been poor at inspiring people to talk about themselves, even though I’m a great listener. I bet there’s something new and something familiar in it for everyone. So how do you make yourself more likeable on a lasting and genuinely significant level? And why isn’t this book the ultimate guide to improved relationships after all?
There was something about the book that I just couldn’t put my finger on.
There was something in the core principles that stopped me from working diligently on improving my relationships to an even greater level than before, even though all of the examples showed excellent results and even though it all made logical sense as well. It all finally dawned upon me once I looked at the big picture and the underlying motive of the book. The objective is to get others to like you, but is that really all you need in order to feel good about yourself?
People come and go, but the only person that will like you for the rest of your life is yourself - but only if you let him/her do that to you. This is the point where some might scoff at my egotistical view, but nobody can deny the fact that you alone consist of the company in which you’ll always be. So it’s most vital that you build on that relationship first before you can start to have other people like you as well.
Don’t you just feel sorry for people that try to be oh so popular while you can see right through their brittle shells that they feel insecure, afraid and disgusted on the inside about themselves? These are the people that don’t have a clue about the difference between self confidence and self esteem. Or about which one of these matters the most.
The reason I didn’t put more effort into all the principles outlined by Carnegie is that I already feel so good about myself that I don’t need others’ acceptance, interest or praise. I like getting some of that, but I don’t need it. I enjoy my current level of being fairly likeable in others’ eyes, but I’m not running a popularity contest. And you shouldn’t feel the urge to do it either, no matter how important it seems to be to some people.
If you strive only for external affection, you will end up getting an unhealthy perspective of yourself. You will only attract people into your life that tell you what you want to hear and not what you should hear. It all gets toxic and twisted in the long run. But if you allow yourself to be in the company of everyone and focus mainly on listening and learning from others, you’ll eventually become a person who leads others by example as well.
What you tell yourself is what creates the really big results and changes in your life. Why? Because what others say to you will always be filtered by your own mind-set about yourself. There are numerous examples of world class top performing athletes, artists and celebrities who receive incredible amounts of goodwill, praise, thank-yous and encouragement, but it all goes wasted because they still don’t feel perfectly satisfied with themselves. So read that sentence again and know it by heart. What others say to you will always be filtered by your own mind-set about yourself.
(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Wealth Increase
Posted by The Probabilist in : [News], Consciousness, Financial Literacy, Goals, Beliefs, Vision, Wealth , 4 comments
It wasn’t until a few months ago that I first heard about the law of attraction (intention-manifestation). I then decided to faithfully try it out and see if the universe would present some proof of it working.
Today, I’m a believer.
I figured it would be best to start small and then increase the stakes. The first intention I put out was an experiment to get another person to do a specific task for me. After two weeks it manifested - exactly the way I wanted it to. Then I intended to find and move into a new, cheap and fitting apartment before the year end. After many strange twists, turns and obstacles it eventually happened on December the 31st. I still wasn’t totally convinced, so it was time to make an even bolder intention - to become financially free.
I participated in the Million Dollar Experiment and told myself that even if it takes a lifetime to accomplish having a million dollars come into my life, it would be worth the effort. My greatest intention for now is still to be financially independent rather than being a millionaire. A month into it, I’ve been able to manifest an additional, approximate wealth of 13 months. If this figure doesn’t make sense to you, read first how you should measure wealth.
In more common terms, my figure in the next update of Steve’s list will be $6,537.25 unless I manifest even more before the next update takes place. It may be a great addition to some and a very paltry amount to others. What have I been doing to get this current result?
First, I focused and put out the intention of being financially free and a millionaire. Next, I actually listen to the million dollar intention audio six times per day that Steve provides on his page. I also changed my desktop image to one with the million dollar intention in writing. And last but not least, I currently live exactly the way I would live if I were financially free. This might be the best way to see it come to fruition for good.
I certainly didn’t expect the separate money sums to arrive that summed up to the current amount, but I’m dead on serious on my quest to experience this freedom and personal growth opportunity on a sustaining level. So how about it, have you started getting some results or is this all bogus to you?
(1 votes, average: 3 out of 5)
