Who Should You Listen to? January 17, 2007
Posted by The Probabilist in : [Articles], Communication, Society, Personal Growth, Productivity, Relationships, Abilities, Leadership , 1 comment so far
When it comes to advice, some are phenomenal, some are plain bad and the bulk of them everywhere in between. Most of the time there’s a subconscious, automated gut feeling that tells you whether a piece of advice is more of the productive or the destructive sort. But when you’re swimming in uncharted waters of information flow, there’s little in the way of knowing what genuinely helps and improves you in the subject and what lulls you into being another sucker giving away your resources in vain.
The first prerequisite for expanding your knowledge is definitely leaving the know-it-all attitude behind. Whether you consciously identify yourself with or without it and whether the subject is one that you know nothing or lots about, it’s always good to remind yourself that what you currently think you know about something, may in fact be blocking you from applying new understanding beyond your current magnitude, perspective or methodology of the given issue. As an old Zen story goes “You have to empty your own cup of knowledge before somebody can pour new, refreshing content in it.” Therefore, the first step is to actually listen.
Moving on to who you should listen to, the answer is simple. Everyone. I’ve gotten lots of great advice on what I shouldn’t do simply by listening to the calamities that resulted from poor decisions. And given that these people don’t feel embarrassed about the choices they’ve made, they want to let you know. Poor people talk about misfortunes because they feel victimized. Accordingly, they say the world is against them and they want sympathy for their helplessness. Prosperous people tell you because their mistakes plunged them into learning from the mistakes that served as triggers to enhance their internal locus of control.
The following step is therefore to ask questions - lots of them. As I wrote in an earlier entry, asking questions is a skill worth improving. The benefit is of course that you’ll get better and better at asking the right questions, the ones that pinpoint exactly what you want and need to know. Additionally, you’ll become prudent enough to tell who has the most knowledge and experience within a field that you need to inquire about further.
There’s a simple, four-word phrase that you can use every single time you find yourself perplexed over something totally new to you that somebody is trying to more or less force upon you - Will you guarantee it? Ask that question every single time somebody tries to sell you mutual funds, a new weight-loss program, info products and any new, better, improved widget of your choice. Anyone coming to an halt when you give those four penetrating words as a counter attack isn’t serving your best interest. Why? Because they don’t seem to practice what they preach. Besides, what works for them isn’t guaranteed to work for you.
Another great way to assess the applicability, productivity, usefulness and ease of a piece of advice is to look how well that information is treating its source. In other words, you may want to do exactly the opposite of what a broke, sick and ignorant person is telling you. If they’re whining about their misfortune, they’re telling you not to whine. If they feel powerless to do something about it, they’re telling you to become empowered to take action. And if they want to indulge themselves in feeling pride over being the little man fighting the rest of the evil corporate and capitalist society and government, then they’re telling you to be humble, caring and giving as you think of the human nature as inherently good.
You’ll get quite far simply by asking questions, listening and being critical only within your own mind. At a given point you’ll feel so comfortable about your understanding of any given issue that you want to share it with others. Every now and then you might get knocked down by know-it-alls who know better than you and this will remind you only to give your opinion when asked for. Trying to force something onto others isn’t the answer no matter how helpful it would be to the recipient. It just won’t work. Leading by example on the other hand will awaken more and more people to start using the advice in this article to learn from you.
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Caring and Worrying December 25, 2006
Posted by The Probabilist in : [Articles], Consciousness, Communication, Emotions, Health, Personal Growth, Psychology, Relationships, Beliefs, Responsibility, Wealth, Words, Abilities , 73 comments
Depending on your emotional balance you may often find yourself caring or worrying about things that you feel are beyond your influence. By this I mean other people, their thoughts about you, personal possession that are of value to you or even your own personal growth in various areas. What other people think of you is something that so many people today have a problem finding an inner balance to. How do you advance your personal growth without having to face the resistance of what others think of you and your pursuits?
The first step in this process is to clearly separate caring and worrying from each other. Worrying is in the negative spectrum of thoughts/emotions while caring is in the positive spectrum of thoughts/emotions. The path to easier personal growth depends on understanding this vital first step. You should not stop caring about what others think of you! You should stop worrying about it. The difference in nuance is of importance since all personal growth involves gradually shifting your reality towards the positive polarity of things, whatever area it is you’re focusing on.
This is why it’s so important that you first reach the awareness of what the words you are using really mean. Otherwise your conscious mind and your subconscious mind may build up conflicts that cause you to crash (getting ill, procrastinating, experiencing fear). So acknowledge first that all worry is of negative impact to you and all caring is of positive impact to your life.
Why is this separation crucial? It’s because of the law of attraction. You create the reality you think of. You will end up manifesting that which you worry of happening. If you worry that others think negative thoughts about you, then in reality it is already true that they do. The only way you can measure this notion is in your own mind and with this scenario in action, worrying truly creates what you worry about. That’s why the second step is eliminating all worry from your reality.
Stop worrying about your home when you’re on vacation, your child when (s)he is taken care of by others and what other people think of you. You can’t influence these matters directly, only indirectly. And at this point we’re starting to borderline with the caring instead of the worrying aspect of things.
The third step is to add more care into your reality. As I mentioned earlier you should care about your possessions, the people around you and what they are thinking of you. It is important since because it is in the positive spectrum, it improves your life and reality. Here’s how to do it.
Ask around what people think of you and your endeavours. Ask what they think of your new business idea, about trying to quit smoking, about setting goals for the coming year, about your current relationships or about your financial situation. Listen to their input and care about their thoughts, insights and perspectives over an issue. Make a mental note about their level of success and awareness within it. You might come to the conclusion that person A is good in raising your compassion toward helping people, but lowering your courage to start a business. And then person B might raise your will to start exercising and eating healthy but lower your interest in spiritual and intuitive guidance and methods. Then all you need to do is turn to the right people for the right thoughts that are in your interest. How can people think negative thoughts about you if you respect them, value their knowledge and want to learn from them? You’ve shown for yourself and others that you care about their thoughts as well as your own growth. It’s your task to figure out whose advice to follow and whose advice not to follow. It will be easier and easier the more you raise your own understanding and awareness of living a prosperous life.
The fourth step is grasping the link between care and worry. The less you care, the more you worry. And the more you care, the less you worry. Those who worry the most seem to care the least, while those who care the most seem to worry the least. This is the step of taking action. If you worry about your personal finances, it’s time to start caring about them. If you worry about your health, it’s time to start caring about it. If you worry what others think of you, start caring about their thoughts. And behold, your worries vanish into thin air once you’ve taken care of these issues.
I care about my own personal development in health, relationships, success, wealth, inner balance and purpose just as I care for your personal development in these areas. With so much caring, how can there be room for worry about what others think of me? If you worry that others think of you in a negative way it quite simply means that you don’t care enough about yourself. Let that sentence sink into you with an open mind. Happiness and caring dissipates worry. Caring is being proactive while worrying is a feeling of guilt for not caring enough in the first place.
(2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)
