Bargaining for Advantage December 1, 2006
Posted by The Probabilist in : [Books], Business, Communication, Goals, Personal Growth, Politics, Relationships, Abilities, Investing, Leadership, Speaking , 1 comment so far
G. Richard Shell, the author of this book catches your attention by stating that we all negotiate every day with all people we’re in contact with. He offers not only valid principles on the different stages and courses of action during a negotiation, but also many practical real examples where they were used. Among the examples are how Donald Trump, Benjamin Franklin, Mahatma Gandhi, Akio Morita and J. P. Morgan handled different situations to their advantage.
The first part of Bargaining for Advantage describes the six foundations of effective negotiating - your style of negotiation, your goals and expectations, authoritative principles and norms, relations, the other party’s interests and influence. It’s all about equipping the reader with improved ability to prepare oneself for bargaining situations. As I mentioned earlier, you can’t achieve more or perform better than you’re aware of being possible.
The second part then splits the negotiation into four distinct phases or processes - preparation, trading information, openings and concessions as well as closure and carrying out. This is where the six foundations are of practical importance to help you keep your edge at all times. Additionally he touches upon ethical standpoints when negotiating and separating between three sets of rules of what’s morally acceptable to say and not say.
The only thing I found missing, which is an important part of negotiations is what’s considered as true and what’s not. There are moments when two sides simply can’t come to an agreement of what is fact and what is opinion and how valid and accurate they are and to whom. I read this book in Swedish for a course I’m taking. Even though I’m not currently in a life situation where negotiations are a significant part of adding more value, I still found Bargaining for Advantage a worthwhile read. At least I know where to re-discover great answers once the stakes are getting higher.
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Caring for Your Introvert November 23, 2006
Posted by The Probabilist in : [Links], Communication, Health, Independence, Psychology, Relationships, Speaking , 1 comment so far
I ran across this excellent article that does a great job in explaining what kind of people introverts truly are. The insights are equally useful to both introverts and extroverts so give yourself a few minutes to read it through.
It’s a funny thing how extroverts can feel intimidated, frustrated, oblivious or neglectful towards us introverts. Well, at least we find it peculiar. But just as the author of this article puts it, there’s nothing to worry about. We don’t worry and there’s no reason others do it for us either. We are exceptionally independent individuals and it’s a perfectly natural part of our lives. Above all, we just want people to make sense. There’s a certain amount of pointless small talk we can take, even if we just sit and listen and don’t utter a word in a couple of hours, which is probably what we’ll do. Why talk when you’re totally indifferent to the current topic?
This often leads to other people thinking that we have no private life at all. There’s a reason we don’t express ourselves. We just prefer to ask questions, questions we know will add value to our internal minds, but we’re also very inclined to answer other people’s questions. There’s a great saying that applies exceptionally well to introverts. “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” And this holds true to us both as students and teachers. Since there’s seldom a push and a pull effect going on, extroverts simply don’t understand what we have to offer. I simply don’t feel an urge to brag or prove myself to anyone else, because I know it’s likely to be misunderstood. For instance, I could post on this blog my level of wealth, health, IQ, accomplishments and future plans - and I probably will. But it’s not out of bragging or expressing self-complacency. It’s to give you an idea of where I come from and who I am to give you advice on a topic as vast as self development.
A perfect example of why introverts want to keep their mouths shut was when I told a work colleague that I’m never ill. Even my year in the defence forces, with 17 camps in Nordic climate didn’t produce a single sick day to me, I said. Well sure enough the next cold morning when I walked over to my job with a sniveling nose she sarcastically asked that “I’m not sick now am I?” I let her know that I always get watery eyes whenever I walk, jog and ride a bike in frigid and close to frigid temperatures. Instead she could’ve understood my comment as “You can trust on me to back your shift when you’re calling in sick.” Most people, it seems, have trouble focusing on the productive aspects of something that is said. This is just one example, but it keeps baffling me to no end. I’ll write an article about that too. 
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